Studio Ramblings Continue


Have you ever missed someone you've never met?

Right now I'm in this sensitive place. I know the cause and I know how to get out of it, but I feel so deeply a loss of someone I don't even know.

We can mourn those who passed too quickly, who's light shone so bright we were drawn to it like a moth to a flame, even if we never looked them in the eye or had the chance to hold them close. What an incredible spirit to be on this earth. What an incredible gift.

This place I'm in is leaving me not just mournful, but pissed off. I'm noticing how frustrated I become with the living for being so fucking self distructive. I need to step back because their journey is not mine to judge...but damn it ticks me off. We can go back to the beginning of time and see that all those old patterns just keep churning in people and I'm not sure they are even awake enough to realize it. Numbing has become the new norm...drama and chaos, unhealthy choices and utter laziness, excuses for repeating toxic patterns, or just plain not seeing that they have a choice and it can all change tomorrow with hard work and commitment to new ways of moving in this world.

So without judgement (I promise the above is an observation, I am trying very hard not to judge. I have a love and a support system that I know many are not blessed to have) but I have to pull back from those I know are choosing to repeat the same destructive patterns they have for years because I cannot save them, I have my own demons to slay and tonight for the first time in days I felt like I was able to shake off the negativity and release the frustration I was feeling. My Kundalini practice seems to be my only saving grace as I too suffer from old patterns, negative thoughts, self destructive behaviors...and so I meditate, I send love out to those who are struggling, even if they don't realize the struggle is of their own making.

If you need to connect with a group of women who want change, who want to focus on mental and physical well-being, as well as eat nourishing foods and painting pretty wild things, please join me on one of my upcoming Eat.Paint.Love. Art Retreats. The women I've met the past year in Portugal and the Outer Banks, NC all have a place in my heart and I'm forever changed by their loving spirits. Connection online is a great gift, but it will never take the place of spending quality time unplugged with kindred spirits. Email me at with questions.

Sat Nam